Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse in Childhood

 Psychotherapy helps people to recover from sexual abuse and regain their lives

Childhood sexual abuse has many damaging psychological effects that do not simply resolve with the passing of time. Many adults suffer these damaging effects years or decades after the abuse. This can manifest as problems in almost every area of a person’s life including depression, anxiety, low self esteem, alcohol and other drug abuse as well as addictions such as gambling, eating and self-harming.  Most people will suffer serious problems in relationships due to difficulties with trust, power, boundaries, intimacy and dependence. This can impact on any kind of relationship including romantic, friendship, work, family and parenting.

Psychotherapy offers a safe therapy relationship where issues around identity, trust, boundaries, intimacy and dependence can be explored at a gentle pace, with total respect and confidentiality.  Ensuring that the patient feels safe is of the utmost priority.

Common fears about therapy

There are many things that make people apprehensive about entering therapy.  You may be worried that you will not be believed. You may be worried that you will not be able to find the words to describe confusing events that you have never understood.  You may fear being judged for waiting so long to get help. There may be crippling feelings of embarrassment and shame. There may be much confusion and shame about whether you were responsible for the abuse. This can be particularly the case if you were abused as a teenager and were tricked into thinking you were an adult in an equal relationship. You may feel that seeking help is hopeless, but this feeling may be a symptom of depression or a post-traumatic reaction. Memories may be fragmented. Emotions may be raw and conflicting. Many people fear that all this will make it impossible to get help.

Trauma-informed psychotherapists understand the many anxieties people bring to therapy and strive to address these with empathy, compassion and skill. Most importantly,  therapists understand the courage it takes to begin to speak about traumas that have remained a secret for so long. Many people come to therapy in their  30’s, 40’, 50’s....... even 90’s to speak about the abuse for the first time. This is because it takes this long for most people to be able to face the trauma of the past. After spending years covering it up and trying to forget about it, some kind of crisis will often prompt people to seek help.

Effects on the mind and personality

As a child, dealing with the trauma of sexual abuse can overload a young mind trying to make sense of things that are incomprehensible. Many children have no words or concepts to even describe what is happening to them. All your mental energy may have been diverted into pushing the abuse out of your mind. As a child, this may have affected your schoolwork and your ability to concentrate and think clearly.  Many adults will still have problems in the areas of working, achieving, concentrating and thinking.  Conversely, you may have become a perfectionist to feel a sense of control over your life. All of this can affect your ability as an adult to work, think, feel and love.

As a child, the pressure of keeping the abuse a secret is a form of trauma in itself. If you were abused by someone you loved or trusted, then your whole view of love and relationships as you grow up may have been seriously distorted. Many adult survivors feel ashamed and confused because they are still affected by something that happened so long ago. Depression, anxiety, confusion about identity and sexuality, all affect your development from child to adult. This is why you cannot simply put the abuse behind you once you are an adult. The abuse may have shaped the adult you become. As an adult, you may also be suffering from chronic Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and be unaware that many of your problems and symptoms are connected to the original trauma.

Trauma-informed psychotherapists take great care to create a safe place for you to find your voice and speak about what has been unspeakable. Together you and the therapist put the pieces together and process past events. Then links can be made between past events and current difficulties. This is the path to resolving overwhelming emotions and recovering from trauma.

*this form of therapy can be harmoniously integrated with EMDR when specific symptoms of trauma such as flashbacks, anxiety, compulsion to self-harm or abuse substances, need to be addressed to help you feel safe during sessions and between sessions.